Showing posts with label Joseph D. Kestenbaum. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joseph D. Kestenbaum. Show all posts

Friday, November 4, 2011

A Philadelphia Horror Story

Although construction is almost complete on La Ronda's 16,000+ square foot replacement, Halloween is a fitting season to discuss this monstrosity. Joseph D. Kestenbaum's spiteful demolition of one of Bryn Mawr's most beloved works of art aroused a regional hatred for our new neighbor.

The architecture community's relationship with McMansions can be a bit hypocritical considering they are, after all, designed by architects. The true dispassion for McMansions lies with historians, restorationists, and art lovers, which in a region as old as Philadelphia's, is a large slice of the population.

La Ronda estate before demolition
Bryn Mawr is no stranger to architectural loss. It's portfolio consists of Gilded Age masterpieces and modern infill that tries to recapture its past with cost cutting interpretations of its history. New or old, they often impress. Kestenbaum's new mansion fits the bill, and once the trees grow in it will blend.

But Philadelphian's don't quickly forget, and rich people with lots of art never do. What Kestenbaum did to a community is why his neighbors are throwing stones from their own McMansions. He didn't just buy a Picasso for the frame. He turned down an offer for the naked Picasso so he could strip it for the oil, then shredded the canvas on the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art.

It's almost impossible to believe Kestenbaum wasn't driven by spite. It's likely no one will ever know his motivation for denying the offer to move the house, which would have saved him more money than he could have possibly made by scrapping the mansion. No one really knows Kestenbaum. His silence is understandable considering the region's reaction to his act, but the only stance he has made on the subject is one of befuddlement over that reaction.

He's left himself open to attacks, and in an absence of dialogue we have to assume he deserves them. Could it be true that he was so enraged at his neighbors for trying to dictate what he did with his own property that he razed La Ronda during a costly temper tantrum? The only details offered during the media circus that preceded the demolition came from Benjamin Wohl, a wealthy fan of La Ronda's architect, Addison Mizner, who attempted to have the house moved to an adjacent lot at his own cost.

Of the limited reasons Kestenbaum offered of his decision, one was that he had chosen the site for his new home because of the grounds. The obvious flaw in his argument is that the grounds wouldn't have moved with the house to the adjacent lot. The second flaw can be found on Google maps, which show a lot devoid of landscaping, save five or six trees left to perhaps block the glares from his angry neighbors.


Kestenbaum's Bryn Mawr mansion under construction in Bryn Mawr, haunted before it was built

Another argument made during the debacle in 2009 was that an historic 18th Century farmhouse had been razed to build La Ronda in the 1920s, an act that enraged the community at the time. That is an apt analysis, but if you want to debate the merits of the paleohistoric interpretation of La Ronda's existence, you need to replace it with something even more architecturally astounding. 

Let's face it. This man was bitter and wanted to piss people off.

Well he did a fine job, and he certainly created enough space to mise away in solitude, including an indoor hockey rink. He'll have to import friends if he wants to enjoy it.

While the only company he receives from his neighbors in this cushy Main Line enclave will be the passing glares of his neighbors, something tells me he won't be alone. Addison Mizner was an eccentric who died in poverty, and Kestenbaum has branded himself a Dickensian Scrooge. The stage is set for a real life Shamalan horror. The only question remains: How long will it be before the ghost of Mizner and his pet monkey are haunting this McMonster's new residents?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Kestenbaum's Monster

Historic La Ronda before being demolished by Joseph D. Kestenbaum
Joseph D. Kestenbaum, the pariah who razed the Main Line's historic La Ronda despite offers from a Florida philanthropist to front the cost of moving the mansion to a new location, has begun construction on his 16,000+ square foot McMansion at 945 Roscommon Road. Named for La Ronda's original address, 1030 has been designed by Visich Architects, an architecture firm known locally for their suburban interpretations of classic, Main Line architecture common in wealthy, cul de sac communities in tri-state area suburbs.

A rendering of a Visich Architects McMansion
Kestenbaum and Visich prove once again that money demonstrates little about taste and sophistication. While the original, 21 room mansion was constructed of steel, brick, and concrete, 1030 will be hastily clad in a Tyvek stucco and artificial stone veneer, sacrificing quality and craftsmanship for an indoor hockey rink.

Joseph D. Kestenbaum's McMansion under construction

Thursday, October 1, 2009

La Ronda Demolished

I hope Kestenbaum's salvage rights were worth the grief this souless little man will receive from not just his neighbors, but an entire metropolitan community that understands the importance of our historic and architectural heritage. It's going to be cold and lonely in that McMansion of his for a long, long time.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Joseph D. Kestenbaum

He kept his identity a secret for the the summer, hiding behind his non-responsive lawyer, Joseph C. Kuhls, to avoid the understandable public outcry over his decision to destroy the historic La Ronda. But it was inevitable that Joseph D. Kestenbaum, President, Chief Executive Officer, and co-founder of Marsh Hawk Capital Management, LLC, would have to reveal himself eventually. I have to commend the Philadelphia Inquirer for mentioning Joseph D. Kestenbaum's name more than enough times to let everyone know this little man's name is Joseph D. Kestenbaum. Did I say his name? It's Joseph D. Kestenbaum.

Joseph D. Kestenbaum actually had the nerve to act shocked by the public scrutiny over his decision to bulldoze La Ronda. He's spitefully tearing down an historic and beloved landmark in one of the most historic regions of the country. Really
Joseph D. Kestenbaum? Are you serious? It's going to be lonely in that 10,000 square foot McMansion you plan to replace La Ronda with. Don't expect company from any of your neighbors.

I don't think Joseph D. Kestenbaum would be such a pariah had he not continued to deny any and all efforts by a third party to move the mansion to an ajacent lot. Yes, Joseph D. Kestenbaum would rather spend more money to raze La Ronda than let someone flip the bill to move it. Joseph D. Kestenbaum's excuse? Joseph D. Kestenbaum wants the salvage rights.

I don't know if there is anyone in the world I dislike more than Joseph D. Kestenbaum right now. I think I'd rather be on stage with Kanye West than be in a room with Joseph D. Kestenbaum. Joseph D. Kestenbaum is a bad, bad man.