1910 Rittenhouse

"Stop what you're doing," says PhillyMag.com, "1910 Rittenhouse Square just hit the market." Indeed it did, for $7.5M. And for another $7.5M you can try to get rid of about 5,000 square miles of wallpaper and...ceilingpaper? Yep, I'm pretty sure that's wallpaper on the ceiling.

Apparently once called "Philadelphia's Most Extravagant Townhouse," that should probably read "Eccentric." Scrolling through the photographs posted on PhillyMag.com begins with what looks like a grownup rich kid's dollhouse. 

1910 Rittenhouse Square

Overwhelming textures and colors, but mildly tasteful if the whole house was scaled down and set in the corner of a bedroom. Scroll a little further through the listing and you'll starting wondering if it was designed by one of the Real Housewives of...hell, any of them. By the last photo you'll be convinced it's the home of Christopher Lowell.

I honestly can't tell whether James Jennings of PhillyMag.com is a genius at comedic sarcasm, or if he's actually that guy right up there.  

Citing Charles Ross and his prismatic light displays was a nice touch, one I only wish was included in the virtual tour. I mean why just disorient your guests with clashing colors, dizzying patterns, and dangerous textures? After giving them all vertigo, send them down a set of marble stairs covered in rainbow projections?