Next Stop: Satan's Butt Hole

As SEPTA finally put a little R&D into what commuters have been asking since the late 50's, some suburban ass wads shared their self important two cents with Philly.com.

SEPTA, perhaps following the success of Metro's expansion into Tysons Corner and ultimately the Dulles corridor, has begun studying the feasibility of a high speed rail connecting Center City and the region's black hole of public transportation, King of Prussia, potentially alleviating the nightmare known as I-76 which invented the phrase "bottle neck," at 3am on a Wednesday.

Of course the no brainer of expanding SEPTA to Satan's sphincter wasn't met without routine skepticism. Perhaps the douchiest comment came from a woman interviewed by Philly.com, "If somebody can't get to King of Prussia by car, they shouldn't be coming at all."

Well - whoever you are - I have some choice words for you myself. Congratulations on defining the word "narcissist." As if all of us troglodytic Philadelphians are seeking a reprieve from our renowned museums and parks, pining for a fast route to your concrete oasis. My city is synonymous with history, architecture, art, and culture. I guess I'd have a little sand in my crawl if mine was synonymous with a mall.

Any high speed line of King of Prussia would predominantly benefit the endless commuters that drive to the city every day to avoid the city wage tax. Some inexplicably content with sitting in their car for four or five hours a day.