Thursday, May 12, 2011

Ridic Listing of the Month - May

Real estate agents toss around a lot of terms, make up terms, and try to re-brand neighborhoods to make them sound less sinister. Ever heard of the Devil's Pocket? Maybe. But you've definitely heard of Graduate Hospital, even though the boundaries of the neighborhood have far exceeded the reach of the hospital itself.

Sometimes a twin and a duplex are the same thing, sometimes a triplex is a three story house even if it's a single unit. One of my favorite misnomers is when a row home is listed as a "detached house" simply because it's the only house left standing on a block of vacant lots.

This month's overrated listing comes from Old City. Although the neighborhood's inflated ego is finally succumbing to the pressures of the new economy, condo owners desperate to cover their mortgage are still seeking clueless New York transplants, hoping to catch them before they realize what's available in Callowhill or Northern Liberties for a fraction of the cost.

Old City's Wireworks Building might be home to the world's first microloft. The Philly Apartment Company is trying to unload this 460 square foot studio at 3rd and Race for almost $1100 a month. That's about the size of your first dorm room. 

In what world is that a loft, and in what universe should the word loft be paired with micro?

It's partially furnished, which means the last tenant didn't want to keep their crappy furniture, and the owner didn't want to move it. 

But it gives the studio, I mean microloft, the one element that allows the agent to list it as a loft, however micro. To make it feel even more like that first dorm room, a "loft", which is simply a bunk bed without a lower bunk, was left behind as well. 

$1095 MicroLoft space w/ HW flrs, seperate kit @ WireWorks (Old City)


  1. Interesting. I've heard that there are quite a few real estate terms that are highly offensive to most and therefore are not heard much outside of the world of realty. Could just be an urban legend though...

    As far as ridiculous listings go, The Arts Tower/Condo at 1324 Locust St. (old Sylvania Hotel) has old 320sf hotel rooms being rented as apartments for $900-1100 a month. I lived there back in 2003 for $625/month and it was a ripoff even then.

  2. Oh god, that building is a joke. A friend lived there after the condo "conversion" and paid nearly $1000 a month. His "stainless steel appliances" and "granite counter tops" included a mini fridge, microwave, and two-burner stove top, with about six inches of granite. Why bother?

    At the height of the boom those studios were going for $199,999 a pop. I guess a lot of the owners are struggling to cover their mortgage. There are a bunch listed and very rarely go for less than $950 a month, and you can get so much more in that neighborhood for so much less.