Hemlock Grove, Pennsylvania

Hemlock Grove, PA with its "White Tower" in the distance

In the western Pennsylvania town of Hemlock Grove stands the tallest skyscraper in the state, at least according to the Netflix original of the same name. Somehow my love of Arrested Development and Jason Statham movies prompted Netflix to suggest that I might like a story about an old coal town run by demons and tormented by werewolves. 

Netflix was right, I love it. But not because it's good...but because like everything else in its genre, it's an addictive runaway train of absurd subplots and cliffhangers. 

It's a drug.

Despite horrible reviews, the low budget Twilight franchise was a wild success and inspired the same copycats we saw following Lost Boys.

But shouldn't it be over? 

Everyone knows the cycle of gothic horror movies and television shows: Vampires then werewolves then zombies. And by the time viewers start analyzing how creepy it is that centuries old vampires are seducing high school girls, Hollywood returns to Melrose Place.

World War Z should have been the end. But the ever-growing real estate of modern media affords a corner for every interest. Long gone are the days when shows' creators had to fight for a prime time spot on one of three networks and Fox was a newcomer, when safe formulaic family sitcoms and cop dramas were the only shows to receive a green light.

Today, when ABC cancels a show, its fans create a Facebook page and fight to have it moved to Showtime. Meanwhile Netflix and Hulu are creating their own unique programming free from the confines of Standards and Practices and thirty minute time slots. Some of it's great, some of it's awful, but it's usually watchable. And given the online option to binge watch shows like Hemlock Grove, we don't lose interest in the week following a cliffhanger. 

Unfortunately the series that makes western Pennsylvania look like a haven of wealthy fashionistas full of grandiose mansions doesn't live up to its potential.

The vagueness of the first episode appeared to be a reincarnation of Twin Peaks, setting the tone for a story surrounding the murder of a popular high school cheerleader while focusing on the quirky and torrid double lives of seemingly normal American archetypes. 

It's too bad. 

Despite Hemlock Grove's watchability, Hollywood has toyed with reinventing Twin Peaks multiple times with The Killing and the unsuccessful Happy Town. While it's evident that networks and producers see a market for revisiting the cult classic, each attempt has focused on the literal aspects of Twin Peaks while ignoring what made it so unique: the fact that it wasn't really a story about a murder, but a series of individual vignettes and nightmarish imagery. It was never meant to make sense.

Today's horror trades David Lynch's macabre introspection for gore and screams because producers likely understand that the reason Twin Peaks didn't last is the exact same thing that made it special, leaving us with stories like Hemlock Grove, shows that encompass the mechanics of Twin Peaks without the maniac behind the wheel.

House of Comcast

Philebrity was quick to point out the ripeness emanating from the latest pile of shit heaped on the internet from the House of Comcast. Netflix has entered into a multi-year agreement with the cable (now content) giant and "have established a more direct connection" between the content and the cable provider.

Can you smell that?

While Comcast is obviously trying to diffuse the controversy surrounding the death of Net Neutrality by appearing to play nice with its competitive content, this is exactly what the internet gatekeepers had hoped to accomplish by defeating Net Neutrality. The fair market is dead in the virtual world of the internet, and Comcast can now legally extort millions from its content competitors like Netflix. 

If this were truly a valiant effort on Comcast's part that was in any way intended to improve your viewing experience, Hulu would be included in this alleged improvement. But this is just a way for Comcast to grab a bit of your $7.99 Netflix bill, remember Comcast already owns 32% of Hulu.

Comcast Celebrates the Death of the Internet with a Billion Dollar Skyscraper

If you live in Philadelphia, or even know someone here, your Facebook newsfeed is already full of posts from BizJournals to Philly.com to Philadelphia Magazine about Comcast's $1.2B expansion by renowned architect, Norman Robert Foster.

It's exciting. At over 1100 feet it won't just be the tallest building in Philadelphia, it will be the tallest building in the United States outside New York and Chicago. It will bring more than 6000 construction jobs and even more permanent jobs to the region.

Norman Robert Foster

Philly.com's Bob Fernandez echoed local concerns that Comcast's acquisition of NBCUniversal might pull jobs to New York and Los Angeles. Obviously this expansion is hopeful, right?

Well, buried beneath the glossy renderings and excited tweets is another story. Unfortunately it's not covered in glitter and cats, or whatever gets the internet excited. Miley Cyrus? It's saddled with beltwayease, politico mumbo-jumbo, and lengthy dialogue that most don't bother to read.

I'm talking about the death of Net Neutrality and the conveniently timed $1.2B announcement by a company that stands to exponentially profit from the demise of an open internet.

Sadly, most people don't know what Net Neutrality is, yet its existence ensures that we are free to explore what has become our greatest communicative resource: the internet. And without it, the World Wide Web is about to get narrow.

Just yesterday a court struck down an appeal against a Verizon lawsuit that would change the rules, and throw out Net Neutrality. As a result, Netflix stock plummeted.

Why? Because this is the internet without Net Neutrality:

For decades we've been forced to purchase cable bundles full of nonsense channels like HSN and Oxygen just to get CNN and ESPN. That's the internet without Net Neutrality. While the most notable restrictions would be on sites that require higher bandwidth like Hulu and Netflix, Comcast and Verizon would be free to exclude websites with which they have no vested interest, or charge more for them.

To make it simple, think of it this way:

You purchase Comcast's Basic Internet Package, which includes basic search engines, email, and news sites that don't contain streaming videos. You go to CNN and click on a video. A pop up displays on your screen that reads, "You must subscribe to Xfinity Permium to view this story, please call..."

Worse, companies would be free to restrict access to sites like YouTube and Flickr simply because they're owned by your service provider's competition.

Cable companies do it all the time. The demise of Net Neutrality means internet service providers can profit more by providing less, which is why it's so fitting, convenient, and not so surprising that Comcast decided to celebrate the defeat of a free internet with a $1.2B skyscraper.