Barely Human: The Swiss Cheese Pervert

Philadelphia's latest resident weirdo is a bit...cheesy. Yep, move over naked bus man and my dear friend I've dubbed Ruby, there's a new crazy in town and he's cruising around Mayfair offering women cash to watch him stick his dong through a slice of Swiss.

Named the "Swiss Cheese Pervert," he's earned his place among Philadelphia's historic laundry list of disturbed whack jobs. In fact, I don't have any questions. It's just Philadelphia. Okay, I do have one question. How small is his penis if his erect member can comfortably f**k a slice of Swiss cheese?

For real though, this man is a criminal and harassing neighbors. If you see him call the police, as soon as you're done laughing.