Barely Human: The Pennsauken Fried Chicken Jacker

Maybe it's the Polar Vortex, or maybe it's just Philadelphia. But move over, Mayfair Swiss Cheese Pervert, there's a new whack job in town: The Pennsauken Fried Chicken Jacker.

The 34 year old New Jersey resident was arrested this morning after crashing his Toyota into the Crown Fried Chicken at 5th and Lehigh, then getting out of his car, disrobing, and...pleasuring himself.

You can watch the video at PhillyMag.com, which is obviously NSFW. He was drunk, and arrested for an obvious DUI, but I have a hunch something else was in his system. Angel dust, bath salts? I guess Florida is on a winter hiatus and we've taken the reigns.